Match #1: Diva's Championship: Eve vs Brie Bella
Match #2: Sin Cara vs Primo
Match #3: Santino Marella, Evan Bourne, Mark Henry & Daniel Bryan vs Wade Barrett, Ezekiel Jackson, Heath Slater & Justin Gabriel
Match #4: Jerry Lawler vs Jack Swagger
Match #5: #1 Contender Gauntlet.
Jeez, now they introduce Michael Cole before the show starts. And of course he hides in his stupid box that's open on the top so you can throw things at him….but that would be wrong.
John Cena comes to the ring and demands his one billionth title shot. But instead of Miz, Randy Orton comes out and tells Cena he lost and the Orton deserves the title shot. And then John Morrison comes down and demands the same thing. Gasp and shock, here's Super Porky to screech that Dolph Ziggler deserves it, and finally R-Truth (wait, what?) comes down to join the fun. Then we get an e-mail from the Master Control Program.. It will be a five man gauntlet match to determine #1 contender.
Run for your lives Diva's AWESOME KONG IS COMING!!!!!!!!!
Match #1: Diva's Championship: Brie Bella w/Nikki Bella vs Eve. Brie pins Eve.
Eve whines to Gail Kim and Natalya.
Match #2: Sin Cara vs Primo. Cara pins Primo.
Match #3: Wade Barrett, Ezekiel Jackson, Heath Slater & Justin Gabriel vs Santino Marella, Evan Bourne, Mark Henry & Daniel Bryan. Slater pins Marella.
Hooray! Jim Ross is back again! And Michael Cole is a jacksass….until JR tries to get into Cole' box of stupidity.
Match #4: Jerry Lawler w/Jim Ross vs Jack Swagger w/Michael Cole. Lawler pins Swagger. Lawler now gets to choose the stipulation for the rematch against Cole. Cole yells at the slaps Swagger, then runs away. Jerry then tells him that it will be a tag match: Lawler & JR vs Swagger & Cole.
And we're still talking about Triple H vs The Undertaker.
Edge comes to the ring, and unfortunately, due to multiple and long standing neck injuries, Edge is forced to retire or end up in a wheelchair. This is not a storyline or a gimmick. It really is over. Thank you Edge. HOF 2012.
Edge leaves backstage through the lockeroom, heels and faces all applauding.
The good news, JR has joined in on commentary.
Match #5: #1 Contender Gauntlet. Miz joins in on commentary. Randy Orton vs Dolph Ziggler w/Fatso. Ziggler vs R-Truth, Truth vs John Morrison, Truth vs John Cena. Miz & Alex Riley jump them both, double DQ….which of course means that the match at Extreme Rules will be a triple threat. Miz vs Cena vs Truth.